Postcards From Oblivion

No, this isn’t a list of typical movies, it’s about the brilliant film from 1995 called The Usual Suspects. I remember going to see this movie with a group of friends. One friend frequently ended up watching a different movie than the one she intended to see. She would lose interest in one film and drift into other theatres to see what they had to offer. She slinked off pretty quickly from this one. Intense movies weren’t her thing. The rest of us were rapt (albeit sometimes a bit confused) viewers.

If you were willing to stick with it, there were twists and turns that culminated into a fantastic payoff at the end. Oh, yeah. There’s also Gabriel Byrne, which would make just about any movie worthwhile for me. Naturally, it was a bonus that the film also happened to be phenomenal.

Have you met Keyser Söze?

We finally got around to watching JCVD, but we were sorely disappointed. The concept was unique, but it was just bizarre. Not really what we were expecting. Much like the game of Farkle, it left us scratching our heads and feeling as if we’d somehow been cheated.

Jean-Claude looked rougher than I’m used to seeing, too–like he’d been ridden hard and put away wet. There’s also a huge bump on his forehead, way above his right eye that begged for our attention like a Real Housewife. It screamed at us with a French accent, “Looook et meee! Do not looook away–looook only at meee!”

We seriously couldn’t take our eyes off that thing.

It was nothing that happened during the course of the movie–it was there from the get-go. It begged the question–has it been there all along and he just has great make-up people? Is that some strange injury from his drug-addicted days? More importantly, why hasn’t TMZ interviewed his bump yet?

Kinda hard to buy a story where Mr. Kumite King gets taken hostage. Really?!

Wait–this shot shows it better:

We don't see your muscles, Mr. Brussels. All we see is that bump. What's with the bump?

Today I needed a laugh. I called upon my good friend, Netflix, for a chuckle today, and as always, he delivered. After finishing up an episode of The IT Crowd (if you’re not watching this yet, stop reading and go put it in your queue/on your movie list), I switched to a little Jake Johannsen.

This made me want to see one of my favorite bits of his from the big hair/big glasses days:

That made me want to hear my favorite lines from John Pinette. Much like my favorite movies, we quote this all the time:

Here’s where you get to imagine John in a Speedo:

Got a comedy fave we might like?

First, I have to tell you my favorite spam author’s name this week:

“Great selection of hole saws”

He/She didn’t even attempt to make up a fake name and gmail address like the usual spam crowd. No, this spammer stepped right up and displayed his or her name as an avenue for us to find a magical place where hole saws abound. Which, IMO, sounds vaguely obsene and makes me giggle a little.

So now that you are well acquainted with my juvenile sense of humor, you’ll better understand why these clips come to my mind often.

1. If anyone makes any mention of the dishes being done, I can’t help but follow up with “Dishes are done, man,” in the best dude voice I can muster:

If we spy a sizeable man exceeding the boundaries of his clothing or car, we start humming or singing this song, depending on whether the subject is within earshot at the time:

Any conversation that comes up about whether someone is married, my answer is always, “Yah. Married!”

If our kids are getting too picky about food selections, they get what Spalding got in Caddy Shack:

Dinnertime can easily morph into a scene from Better off Dead if French Fries or French bread are being served. It’s all in the pronunciation:

Any movie lines invade your everyday world?

First, I have to toot my own horn, because I don’t think I took the time to do so yet. I crafted something just for YOU, my wonderful reader. It’s for your blog–just down there to the right of this post. Ah madez mah own button! If you know anything about my level of technical (in)ability, you might just break into song upon seeing it. Anyhoo, if you’re so inclined, feel free to grab mah button to put anywhere that rings your bell. And thanks!

Now… on to serious matters, such as lunch prep:

I finally sat down last night to work on my kiddie’s class valentines (because I can’t NOT make some adorable paper craft with a goodie tucked inside). I’d been putting off making them, knowing I would be attending a scrapbooking event yesterday. You know, where I’d have several consecutive uninterrupted hours to create several hundred works of art.

Yeah. That didn’t happen. I did create some really cute stuff that the hostess had planned for us, and I also got the kids’ teachers candy holders done:

Just not the valentines.

I’ll bet at this point you’re also wondering what the flippity flop this has to do with romantic movies.

Practically the official image for romantic movie

I parked myself in front of the boob tube last night so I could get down to some serious crafty magic, and a new favorite romcom was on–The Proposal. I was a bit torn, because I knew I’d finish up my project before the movie was over. So what if it’s on Netflix streaming and I can watch it anytime day or night as the mood strikes. It was on now, and I didn’t want to miss a minute of it.

Turns out I didn’t have to. Two and a half hours later (oh, hai, 1:15 a.m.) I finally gave up on finished The Girly’s valentines. I got them all ready to transport in the morning. I really enjoyed the movie, though. It was the second time I’d seen it, and I suspect it will now be added to the list of movies I must watch every time they’re on TV.

Which brings me to the romantic favorites. In honor of Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I thought I’d list a  few of my faves (you may have seen them here before), and I’m hoping you’ll list a few of your faves in the comments section. Maybe we’ll all hear of some we didn’t know about.

A few of my faves:

• Pride and Prejudice (obviously)
• The Notebook (have your tissues at the ready)
• Love Actually
• Much Ado About Nothing (romance, comedy, and no-good scallywags)
• Must Love Dogs (Must also love John Cusack)
• Serendipity (Must love even more John Cusack)
• The Proposal (I’d totally watch it again if it came on tonight)
• Never Been Kissed (I’m not Josie Grossie anymore!)
• Kate & Leopold (How could you not love Hugh Jackman? Or as I like to call him– Huge Jacked Man)
• Someone Like You (I’m on a Hugh kick now. Also, since I usually include a clip or trailer, why not use one that includes a scantily clad Huge Jacked Man?)

I know I’m forgetting a ton of good ones. Help me out in the comments! C’mon out lurkers. We want to hear from you, too!

A while back, someone mentioned they were watching the movie Mr. Mom, and it reminded me of another movie starring Michael Keaton that always amused me–Multiplicity. It’s several incarnations of Michael Keatons, actually. If you haven’t already seen it, Multiplicity is a story about a construction worker who finds it difficult to keep up with all the facets of his life. A geneticist ends up cloning him, so the extra versions of himself can lend a hand and lighten his load a little.

The always charming Andie McDowell plays his wife, who isn’t really sure what’s going on with him from one minute to the next. You’ve never seen multiple personalities quite like this before: